When Accutane entered my life ...
First of all, I need to thank Accutane for being my motivation to be here. It really is! I know that sounds crazy but if I didn't take this hard decision I would never be able to be here sharing my experience with you.
I started this blog because when I was going through the ups and downs of the treatment I didn't find detailed information about it, there was no TEA.
So I'm here to give you the TEA.
Before anything, I need to talk a bit about myself which isn't my favorite thing but we have to. I am a 27 years old female and I didn't know anything about acne until I turned 26. Yeah! That sounds crazy to me because I didn't understand how I didn't get acne when I was a teenager but I got it as an adult. So my doctor really suffered to explain that to me because I thought she was laughing.
I need to tell you about the reasons that pushed me to go and see a dermatologist because I'm not the type of person who will run to a doctor for minor things.
So the reasons are :
- Breakouts on my chin, neck, back, buttocks, thighs.
- Very oily hair and skin.
- Can't hide my acne with foundation anymore, it looks cakey and textured.
- I'm a picker. So I made everything worse unfortunately scars became my new friends.
- I'm not talking about regular breakouts, I'm talking about the stuffed ones, big and very red.
- Losing my confidence.
So I Googled a dermatologist in my area and read the reviews, called, booked an appointment we are ready to go.
She was very nice and helpful, she gave me two choices, the first is to try only creams the second take a strong drug. It was up to me and my body (blood work).
I chose to take the drug obviously because I wanted to end this problem forever even if she said that there is a small percentage of getting it back.
I took the risk and did all the procedures to get my first prescription.
One of the most things that made me think more than once about this treatment after a Google search is the fertility subject. I made humongous research about it, read so many articles, and came to the conclusion that taking the drug may affect the ovum volume but after stopping it everything get back to normal. The joint and back pain was mentioned too but nothing major because I didn't have any issues before.
So now I will go with months because things were different every month, the dosage and the side effects were very different.
I started my treatment on the 13th of October.
And keep in mind that my blood work is done every month and all the things we have to do...
I will try to give the maximum of details so I can help someone.
Very Important:
You have to ask your doctor what's your accumulated dose is, which means how much isotretinoin your body has to accumulate to get rid of your acne for the maximum amount of time possible.
In my case, she went with 150mg/Kg.
So to calculate your accumulated dose you have to multiply the dose your doctor decided by your weight, you will obtain the total.
For example, 150mg × 60mg=9000mg it's your accumulated dose needed for a person who weighs 60kg.
And to reach your accumulated dose you have to multiply each monthly dose by the days you've taken the drug.
For example, you went on 20mg for the first month so 20mg×31days= 620mg.
MONTH 1:
I started with 20mg on October 13th, for many of you it may sound like a low dose but nonono.
She told me that in the first 2 weeks I may get a purge which was 100% true. She prescribed some creams which were: 15% glycolic acid cream, depigmenting cream, gentle face cleanser, Aquaphor for my lips, and hydrating eye drops.
She advised me to book a facial after 2 weeks which I did because I was scared and it was really one of the most painful moments of my life I cried so HARD.
The first side effect was the drying lips, it was very new to me but nothing scary. Then my hair started to become less oily than usual I was happy about it.
But my face was very unhappy, breakouts were exploding on my jawline. I was very sad and my family too I even thought of stopping everything but I stuck hard to my decision.
The facial day came I did it, cried so much but still unhappy, so the first month I was sad more than dealing with side effects which sucks.
MONTH 2:
Things were very much the same at the beginning of the second month, with many breakouts on my face and my EARS too can you believe it! I started drinking much more water than usual, applying Aquaphor many times a day, my menstrual cycle was the same no changes.
On November 26th I went up to 40mg.
This is when things started to change. My face became smoother but the breakouts were still there.
No more blackheads on my nose and chin. My cholesterol and triglyceride went up but nothing out of control.
Working out became a bit harder, I started to get major cramps so I did twice a week instead of three which upset me. My appetite was huge, I started craving so much carb, I was on keto for 5 months and with the cholesterol and triglyceride getting high my doctor advised me to eat less fat and incorporate more carbs.
I was very very upset again because I knew I would gain weight. But I managed not to, Thank GOD.
With the 40mg, I started experiencing some sort of mood changes, I can't say depression because I wasn't diagnosed but I felt sad and worried. The scars left from the facial hit my confidence in the drug.
I became anxious and angry. I can get angry so easily because of silly things. I knew it but I had no control over it which made me angrier.
The back pain started to kick me so hard. The ankle pain too. It was sometimes I nightmare when I woke up. I tried to motivate myself by looking for before and after Accutane on Youtube, Pinterest...
It really helped me.
By the beginning of December my jaw acne started to get better, the breakouts became little black dots instead of huge irritated coins.
So far, my body acne has disappeared. No more painful red big breakouts in my back and I was happy about that.
But It's never perfect, weirdly my left cheek exploded with breakouts, I felt like my lifetime breakouts came to life. I felt a strange feeling of betrayal. Can't do much about it, I tried to hide it with foundation and I managed to, despite the huge breakouts my skin became very soft and smooth so when applying the foundation it looked like a blank canvas.
No changes in my menstrual cycle so far.
MONTH 3:
This month was the hardest month ever! I will explain...
So I'm still on 40 mg but my body is in another dimension. My lips were getting dryer and dryer, I started drinking 3L a day of water, which means much more time in the bathroom...
My emotions were all over the place, I can go from extremely happy to very sad, I can cry for nothing.
My body was very confused, my face was very puffy and my cheeks got red all the time especially after applying my creams. At this point, I stopped using the glycolic acid cream because my skin became very sensitive.
So she prescribed me an anti-inflammatory cream to reduce the redness of my left cheek breakouts, a vitamin C serum to hydrate my face, an AHA cream, and a heavy moisturizer for my body because it became so dry I couldn't use fake tan.
More more more back, legs, and ankles pain.
My mood swings were up to the roof, one of the causes is that I was unable to work out, I started working out only once a week and that made me so sad. It was psychological and physical, I thought if I don't work out I will not get more pain which is a bit true because cramps and Accutane side effects are a nightmare.
My period disappeared! Yeah, I mean it. my cycle went from 29days to 46days! I was terrified. I asked my doctor about it she said that's ok it will get back to normal when I will stop the drug.
I will let you know.
My makeup application became perfect. I was able to easily hide everything because there was no texture anymore. But wearing color contact lenses was so hard because my eyes were so dry, I went through many bottles of eye drops so far especially that I have already dry eyes because of computer and phone screens.
MONTH 4:
Still on 40mg but now I have a bigger issue: MY HAIR IS FALLING LIKE RAIN.
I spent months and months before starting Accutane on hair vitamins because of bleach, I did 2 cures of Hairburst Vitamins which are amazing by the way. Seeing my hair falling after such an effort was a pain in the heart. So I mentioned it to my doctor she prescribed me Vichy Clinical 5 hair treatment for 6 weeks and some light hair vitamins for 3 months because I didn't want to gain weight since I can't work out like before. The side effects were pretty much the same nothing new.
On January 26th I went up to 50 mg. And OMG. Everything became a bit harder. My back and ankles pain became intense, sometimes I limped. Yes, that's true. I did my best to work out but I regretted it after that. I had to cut more fat because of my cholesterol.
If you eat normally don't worry but if you're on Keto that may be hard.
My emotions were very weird. I was sad and angry at the same time. I became sometimes mean even if I have never been that type of person.
My nails became so fragile, I usually use gel but I got back to regular nail polish to help my nails stay strong but the vitamins I was taking did a good job in the end.
I changed my hair routine, I bought a shampoo for dry hair and a mask which I applied a night before taking my shower. I started to get dandruff so I used coconut oil to hydrate my scalp and things were ok.
I had hand rashes several times which last 3 days, on my tights too. One was so bad I had to apply a hydrating cream and wrap it with cellophane for 3 or 4 hours to calm the redness and the itching.
No more body acne.
MONTH 5:
I can't say that 50mg is like 40mg. No, there is an important difference between the two. I felt it. After my 5th month appointment and blood work my skincare routine changed, she added a hyaluronic acid, vitamin C serum, and a new intense depigmenting cream to get rid of the left cheek scars. I got some new breakouts but not like before they disappear in 2 to 3 days.
I experienced something new: vaginal dryness. I didn't understand it at the beginning I thought of something else. I used Aquaphor down there. YES, YOU HEARD IT RIGHT! It was funny to me too. I switched to the heavy hydrating cream which I will mention because it's amazing: ISISPHARMA SECALIA ULTRA. It was a miracle for all my body, I used it every day after my skincare and I felt so much better.
My menstrual cycle is still a mess, I ovulated on the 36th day of my cycle instead of the 14th and it was getting longer and longer. I literally didn't get my period in February.
A new surprise popped, a hard one: Cold Sore on my lips which also named herpes labialis.
It was very painful and weird. My lips were peeling and when I rub them together It felt like I was eating sand. They got so big and red like I got injections, I contacted my doctor she prescribed me Valacyclovir 500mg twice a day for 5 days and she told me to hydrate my lips more than before which sounded impossible because Aquaphor was my twin we were inseparable, LITERALLY!
It got better by the 3rd day of the treatment but the swelling and the redness were present for at least 1 week.
My back and ankles pain still present. My back was killing me if I stand up for too long. Heels were a dream due to my ankle pain.
To avoid face redness all day I used the La Roche Posay Anthelios sunscreen every 2 hours, I highly recommend it. It's thin and transparent, doesn't change my makeup application, and easy to absorb.
I also experienced something very weird which is brain fog, I felt stupid sometimes. I can make the same remark so many times or repeat the same sentences many times... It was very unusual of me.
I had nose bleeding, nothing major just when I blew my nose. I felt some side pains, especially when I don't drink that much water. I got bloated many many times. I sometimes felt chest pain and rapid heart palpitations.
Working out 3 times a week was a dream at this point it's 2 times a month. It was very hard for me I blamed myself so much but you don't have to. Listen to your body before anything else. You have plenty of time to get back to it but your health is everything.
Hand rashes stopped because I was using the Secalia cream once a day, if I washed my hands too much I used it before sleep too.
This time my cycle was 49days which really sucked. it's the longest cycle I've ever had. I've never experienced something like that in my whole life, so stressful.
My cheek breakouts became less red but more violet, it's a good sign according to my doctor they're healing.
I thought that by my 5th month my face would be all cleared up but I was wrong, still have some months left. It was hard to accept but I had no choice I will not give up after all this pain.
It was very heavy on my mental health. I was really really sad. The good thing about me is that I don't like to complain about my decision, so I helped myself more than anyone could help me. You have to be strong and keep telling yourself that everything will go off, it's not you, it's just a drug that's messing with your metabolism, you will get as you were before but with amazing skin. Think about your final result and stay motivated.
Some people may not be as strong and that's ok. If you feel that you can't really do it anymore and you're having some weird thoughts STOP IT. SEEK HELP. Push yourself but don't harm yourself.
Keep going!
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